Dos and Don’t of Being a Bridesmaid

We’ve all heard horror stories about being a bridesmaid — helping plan a wedding can drive anyone bananas – but there is one goal: a fabulous wedding. Here is a list of the dos and don’ts of being a bridesmaid to make sure it’s an event you – and the bride – want to remember.

Do:

Be Available

A lot of people don’t know what goes into planning a wedding until they’re planning a wedding. It’s like sprinting a marathon from the moment the planning starts until the return flight from the honeymoon. It’s a lot of work. The bride needs a lot of help. She asked you to be a bridesmaid because she trusts you will pick up her slack because she’s got a million other things on her plate. Make sure you can give her as much help as you can offer… she’d do the same for you.

Be Agreeable

This is your friend’s/sister’s/cousin’s wedding. Do what you’re asked to do and everything will go easy for you, the wedding party and the bride. Any bump in the road of wedding planning can throw off the flow of what’s supposed to happen. When everyone is on board for every step of the process, problems and the risk of drama are minimal. Let the bride choose the colors, the dresses, the flowers; if her ideas are outrageous, gently tell her to rethink her decision.

Be a Good Hostess

You’re there to make sure everything goes smoothly and tie up loose ends the bride can’t. This means talking to people when the bride can’t; handing out party favors; dancing when no one’s on the dance floor; making the party a party. It’s one of the most memorable nights of your friend’s/sister’s/cousin’s life so make it monumental.

Don’t:

Complain

This wedding is the bride’s party. Bridesmaids are there to share the day with the bride and share the burden of the bride. Bridesmaids help things along, not halt them. Complaining about food/dresses/destinations only makes the planning difficult. Make this the fun event it’s supposed to be. Make it a day the happy couple won’t forget. Make it easy and don’t complain.

Upstage the Bride

The most beautiful woman in the room is supposed to be the bride. Save the sparkly tiara for your wedding and let the bride shine. Let her be the one with the stars on her heels and the flowers in her hair. You’ll have (or have had) your own day to shimmer.

Get Drunk

What’s embarrassing: a bridesmaid dressed in hot pink taffeta stumbling in stilettos and slurring words.

What’s painful: knowing the evening is only going to get worse for that bridesmaid.

The bridesmaid might not remember what happened that evening, but it’s guaranteed the happy couple and everyone at the wedding will never forget how drunk she got. Don’t be that bridesmaid.

Being a bridesmaid is almost never easy. There are duties and expenses and you’ll likely have to do things you don’t want to do. But if you power through, your work and support will be appreciated. And remember the support – because there will be a time when you need support for a life event.